Oh, hai!

Pappy, in his everlasting quest to make life more interesting, has added a cohort to his blog. Me. I am his slightly more sarcastic, slightly less media savvy (read: I watch less television) co-conspirator. Though I'm not sure that's a good word to use, considering all the implications in this post-9-11, post-post modernist world we live in. But I digress.

Who am I? Good question. I am a recent graduate of the University of Washington in International Studies. I am a walking example of the effects of the economic recession on graduating college students. In short, I am wasting my mental acuity working a dead end retail job. But let's not focus on the negative here. Let's instead focus on what I'm interested in, since I have no specialties or experience to speak of. I wrote a whole lot of papers on Israel while I was in college, mostly relating to human rights. Let's summarize them all by saying it's a depressing specialty in a depressing field. Since then, I have found my focus shifting from Israel (and their human rights record) to other countries in the Middle East. Of most interest to me are what could be politely termed as the potential failed states, Yemen, Lebanon, Iran, and most recently Tunisia and Egypt.

When I say failed states, I do not mean Weber's legitimate use of force. Nor do I necessarily mean Foreign Policy's multitudinal spectrums of failure, which use mathematical equations to rank states along a spectrum of nastiness. I don't do math. Essentially what I mean by "failing states," which I understand is a loaded and controversial term, are states I see as teetering on the brink of chaos. What does chaos mean? Depends on the country. In Yemen, it means that Saudi Arabia violates your northern border in order to address revolutionary overspill. In Lebanon it means a fragile democracy where the head of government has to depend on a party which is his ideological opposite to stay in power. Or in the case of Lebanon, it means the head of government is ousted as a result of a report that has yet to be released on the subject of the previous head of government's death at the hands of a member of the more recent head of government's coalition [Ed.'s Note: Previous head of state was also his dad (/spins bowtie)]. That's a can of worms, isn't it? In Iran, it's the total subjegation of the rule of law to the will of the ruling whatever-they-are. Let's call them posse, just because I kind of assume Ahmadinejad and Khomeini wouldn't like being called a posse. And I find that entertaining, in a Muhammed-on-South-Park-in-a-Bear-Suit kind of way.

And I won't insult the readers intelligence by explaining why Tunisia and Egypt are potentially failed states. That seems intiutive at this point.

So to summarize: I'm an international affairs nerd. I geek out when people bring up the Cold War, ethnic minorities along the Af-Pak border (which I will henceforth refer to as Pak-Af, just because I read somewhere it pisses off the ISI, and one of my goals in life is to piss off foreign intelligence services), and all those -cracies (democracy, theocracy, autocracy, etc). Expect to hear more from me, and Pappy, since I've become his Nag In Chief.

Signing off for now.

A Note on Being Bad Ass

NOTE: THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR VARIOUS BAD ASS TELEVISION SERIES AND FILMS.

There are a few things which I hold to my heart as being bad ass. First, any character played in an HBO series by Michael K. Williams. Williams first rose to fame as the gay stick-up artist who only robs drug dealers on The Wire, carrying a shotgun around West Baltimore's streets and easily taking out those who poison the community as well as the lawyers who help legitimize it:

Williams also currently portrays "Chalky" White on Boardwalk Empire, where he represents Atlantic City's black community at the beginning of Prohibition, leveraging votes to get benefits from Nucky Thompson and torturing KKK members.

Another example is any role Clint Eastwood played outside of Bridges Over Madison County and Space Cowboys. Eastwood's glare, even in his last role of Walt Kowalski in Gran Torino, where he NEVER EVEN FIRED A GUN, was just BAD AAAAASSSSSSS (and also extremely racist).

And finally, there are two that I, as a Jew, am very proud of. The Jewish brigade of Inglorious Basterds, led by Brad Pitt's Lieutenant Aldo Raine, torture Nazis in ways that are by no means worse than what the Nazis did in history, but still helps to make up for the disgusting genocide that was the Holocaust, especially the way the Jew Hunter was forced to live the rest of his life.

Eichmann shouldn't have been executed, he should have received this punishment. But my response to Arendt's Eichmann in Jerusalem will be later, I promise.

And the last movie I find to be extremely bad ass is Munich. Initially, I was told to boycott this movie by my parents because Tony Kushner is self-hating and whatnot, but the responsibility also lies with Spielberg, who wanted to inject some sort of humanity into the film, giving the main character, Avner, regret for his actions that helped put to justice those responsible for the massacre at the Munich Olympics in 1972. In reality, the team were not concerned with the moral implications, they were serving their country to the best of their abilities. Overall, this movie was Jews not backing down and taking on those that try to attack them, and that, dear readers, is bad ass.

And this brings me to the reason I wrote this post: the Turkish movie that was just released, Valley of the Wolves-Palestine, which portrays a revenge mission by the Turkish against Israeli operatives for the deaths suffered on the Mavi Marmara, which was part of the flotilla of ships that tried to bring humanitarian aid to Gaza this past May. While I have not seen this movie, I have a few reasons from the historical context to deem it to not be bad ass.

1.Historical Accuracy

The facts are out on the table: Golda Meir did call for this revenge mission to be carried out by Mossad, with extreme prejudice. This very public and very heinous crime would be punished using killings that would make each surviving member of Black September cringe and fear their own turn in the queue. This movie's plot, which involved such a ridiculous premise, just seems like it would never be a plausible outcome of this situation, mostly because Mossad would probably respond in kind to this Turkish response.

2. Political Legitimacy

The Israeli Navy was enforcing an embargo, and is not a terrorist organization (some would disagree, but its the army of a sovereign nation). If Israel had not enforced the embargo, they would have been seen as weak, which is not what Israel wants to do in the Middle East. So the passengers on an aid ship want to mess with a bunch of armed commandos? That is not something you seek revenge for.

3. Complete Implausibility

I know the Turkish want to seem bad ass and all, but let's get one thing straight: the counterintelligence abilities of the Shin Bet as well as the striking abilities of the Mossad make this scenario completely impossible. The only leaks from Israel have come courtesy of Mordechai Vanunu, who worked at the Dimona plant and then told about half of the story of the Israeli nuclear program before a honeypot got him stuck and brought back to Israel. Espionage is tough to do to Israel, just as Hizballah learned last year when they tried to blame Israel in their place for the assassination of Rafiq Hariri, and continue to blame them, just as the tribunal continues to move forward.

4. Revising the Future?

These two countries had previously had great relations up until the Gaza offensive at the end of 2009. They deteriorated further, with some help from Danny Ayalon and Avigdor Lieberman's complete lack of any diplomatic skill. Art can have a great influence on public opinion and can easily affect the way people think about another country, which in democracies can lead to changes in relations, and demonizing people can be a great multiplier.

Hopefully, these two governments can get together and become more understanding of each other. But in the mean time, Turkey looks a lot like Jaden Smith's "karate kid;" they bought themselves a Jackie Chan, but they don't know how to use it so it made them look like spoiled idiots.

Statecraft of this Nature Requires Good Wages

I'll admit that it looks like a pretty tough job right now to be a member of the Israeli Foreign Ministry. You're working for a minister who came to his position not by having any experience as a diplomat, but through the performance of his party in the previous election. And his tactics are a bit inappropriate, looking to destroy the reputation of counterparts and demean visitors, to go along with his penchant for speaking out of turn. Well, now the Foreign Ministry is doing neither, and it is hurting the Israeli reputation abroad.

The Foreign Ministry is on strike for better pay, and working for Lieberman is a hardship that should be taken into consideration for these negotiations to go along with the complaints of many expenses having to come out of pocket. In the mean time, all foreign ministry outposts, including embassies, missions to the UN, and consulates, are closed for the work stoppage. It is alienating Diaspora communities, damaging short-term support, but it's also hurting relations with larger countries not known for the support engendered in their Jewish communities. Not to mention Bibi will be stuck in Israel without the means to facilitate any sort of state visit. Not to mention that intelligence is not being facilitated due to its reliance on unionized Foreign Ministry workers.

Last week, Dimitri Medvedev became the first head of government in a very long time to cross the Allenby Bridge from Jordan into the West Bank and voiced his support for Palestinian independence. This follows the trend started by Latin American countries to recognize Palestinian independence in the lead up to a possible UN Security Council vote that could make this goal happen.

All of this could have easily been avoided had the Foreign Ministry workers received their fair pay. Lieberman has already charmed the Russians with his fluency, and he should take the blunt of the blame. If Medvedev had traveled through Israel before going into the West Bank, it is very likely that Lieberman could have stalled him in making this statement. It is the fault of the leadership that those who practice state craft are not being paid enough to do so. If Netanyahu wants to stop alienating allies, he needs to get the Foreign Ministry paid and back to work as soon as he can.